loving shuu

just who can grant my wish...
and how?





chapter 1 i let my guard down
for a moment It was on a cold and grey April morning, ten minutes before the start of class. St. Pigeonation's was a place of rush and fluttering birds around this time, as some students scrambled to get to class in the last minute. In this moment, the last student left the infirmary, and Shuu could sigh and sit back in his chair. If all were to be in the doctor's favor, nobody would disturb him for the next two hours either. Though he wanted to look forward to the peace and quiet, he felt restless. And if his calculations were correct, then a certain bird, a final morning-time patient, would appear in his doorway any second now.

The infirmary door creaked as it slid open.
"I-Iwaminee...!"
The bird's whine was so pathetic that it made Shuu perk up with curiosity. A quail was leaning weakly against the doorway, cowering from pain as if he'd been shot.
"Iwamine, help me, I can't walk...!"
"Professor Nanaki." As he expected. Shuu capped his pen. "What is it?"
"I... I was running on the way to school and I tripped and fell right on the asphalt... Owww..!" Kazuaki straightened his posture, revealing his injuries. His knees were bleeding badly, and formerly white pants were dirtied and stained.
"...I see. Sit over there, then."

He got up from his desk and began assembling a tray of supplies at the cabinets, paying no mind to the shuffling teacher. "Agh, of all the days I chose to wear these tight jeans... I hate my life..."
"Speaking of. Take your pants off." Shuu added.
"Ehhh?!" Kazuaki looked around himself helplessly. Sitting on a bedside now, his hands trembled and hesitated to touch his legs. Just looking at the blood made him wince and tear up; "I-I can't! It hurts too much!!"
Shuu pushed a cart ahead of himself as he approached the seated quail, a pair of scissors in his hand. "Hmm... Is that so. You give me no choice, then. Both the legs will have to be amputated."
"Nooo!!"
"Then stop being a baby. Have you never had to rip a bandaid off a papercut?"
Kazuaki gulped, his eyes huge and wet, "U...Uguuu..."
He took a deep breath, held it, and pulled his pants off with one mighty rip. Another pathetic whine came out of his throat. Satisfied, Shuu put the scissors down and took a seat in front of Kazuaki, shuffling closer.
"Hmm. Impressive."
"W-What?"
"An impressive wound. You skinned yourself quite harshly... I suppose the impact of a fully grown adult against concrete is heavier than that of a light-footed student dove."
Kazuaki kept his head turned away, "Sorry." He said softly through gritted teeth.
"I wasn't complaining."

Shuu's raccoon-like fingers picked and maneuvered Kazuaki's legs to test the knees, one after the other. "You hit your bone, but not to the point of fracturing anything. Not that I expected anything else."
"Oh, man... It'll be really difficult to go upstairs to class... Maybe I should take a day off-"
"No."
"Hmph."

"This will sting. Stay still."
"Wha-A-AAAA!!!"
The doctor poured a beaker of ice cold water over Kazuaki's knees, catching the excess into a towel below. "UEEE!"
"And again."
"AGAIN?"
Outside the infirmary window, a sparrow flew out of the trees, startled by Kazuaki's ghastly scream.
"And now to desinfect."
"M-MERCY...!"
"No mercy." Shuu uttered without missing a beat and poured strong-smelling hydrogen peroxide down Kazuaki's legs. Kazuaki dug his nails into the bed and hissed through his teeth, writhing uncomfortably.
"Stay still."
Shuu said again, monotonous as before. Kazuaki dared to spare a glance at his knees... And the blood, diluted with water, looked somehow even scarier than before. He covered his eyes with his hands and sobbed. And as Kazuaki sobbed, he hated himself in his mind. He really did try with all his might to keep it together and stop letting himself tear up so easily... It was all just falling apart lately...
Being used to Kazuaki Nanaki's sensitive nature; Shuu paid no mind to the sobbing, and continued to work away at the injury. He dabbed it gently with cotton to pick out sand and debris. Sniffling continued in the background.
"...Why are you still crying? I have already gone out of my way to clean your wound as delicately as possible." his movements slowed, "I can't go any softer than this."
"I-It's..." Kazuaki wiped his face, "It's not that, it's just... Everything has been so terrible lately. My heart hurts more than my legs, really..."
"Heart?" Shuu looked up at him, "What kind of pain? Sharp or dull?"
"N-Not literal chest pain," Kazuaki scoffed, "I mean my heart and soul..."
Shuu sighed despondently. "Here I got my hopes up..." and began wrapping a bandage around the knee. Kazuaki stayed still for a few seconds, and then let loose with a chuckle. Shuu glanced at that reaction but didn't respond, choosing to focus on his work.
"You cheered me up. Thank you, Iwamine-kun."

"..."

"...Iwamine-kun?"

"Nothing."
The doctor lagged for a second there. He quickly resumed and tightened the bandage before fastening it. "Owow..."
"To encourage healing, avoid exercise and try to shower without letting water on your legs. Use compresses if the discomfort increases, and come see me tomorrow."

"Avoiding exercise is already part of my nature..."

There was a look in Shuu's eyes as if he wanted to say something in response to Kazuaki's joke. But though he waited, the doctor didn't utter anything. His stare stayed vacant, directed at the small gap of distance between his legs and the other's.
With his hands still protected by grey-blue rubber gloves, Shuu slowly reached out and placed his hand on Kazuaki's thigh.
And the only thing Kazuaki thought, was

It feels... as cold as a corpse.

Realizing what he was doing, Shuu pulled back immediately. He swung around and got up from the chair, heading right for the sinks, pulling the cart along.
"I believe that's all. You should be leaving."
"...Huh? Why?"
Shuu looked over his shoulder slowly, "...The class, Professor."
"Oh... OH!" Kazuaki leapt out of bed, nearly falling over (again) as he pulled his pants back on while walking, "Crap, crap! I'm so screwed!"
Shuu began to clean his dirtied tools, and dispose of others.
"Thank you, Iwamine~! See you later!"
He couldn't look at the other, even as he left. Only after the door closed, the doctor looked in its direction and sulked.

The water flowed endlessly into the sink, making a perpetual whooshing sound. Shuu’s hands were no longer in the dish. He leant against the porcelain, and watched it all pass by in front of him.
Why couldn’t it stop. Why couldn’t it ever stop. He managed to fulfill his duty, and he did it in an acceptable amount of time. But from the moment Nanaki Kazuaki entered the infirmary, up until the moment he left, and the time after that, it’s as if Shuu's brain turns in slow motion. He wondered if Kazuaki noticed it today, or if he hid his condition well.

That airy voice still echoed in his head. No, it was the words. The meaning and the enunciation. Shuu dissected every character in his mind with an imaginary scalpel... Why did he feel like this? Why did he do "that"? The warmth of the other’s skin still burned into his palms even when he let icy water run through them. Such long, strong legs...

"...See you later."